Thursday, August 16, 2007

Growing Older

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The photo of Ella and her Aunt Sarah has nothing whatsoever to do with this post. I just thought it was a cute picture of her in the straw hat. She loves hats as you may have noticed from previous posts.

I received an e-mail today from a friend inquiring about how I was. I replied that I was quite tired. She responded by saying, "Well, as we get older, it takes longer to rest up from a long trip." I guess it is true, after all, isn't it. Our minds think we're still young, but the body sometimes lets us know that it just isn't so. (I wanted to use "ain't" there so badly, but I couldn't let myself.)

This evening when I was checking my e-mail, I received this from a high school friend. It pretty much expresses how I feel.

The other day a young person asked me how I felt about being old. I was taken aback, for I do not think of myself as old. Upon seeing my reaction, he was immediately embarrassed, but I explained that it was an interesting question, and I would ponder it, and let him know.

Growing Older, I decided, is a gift. I am now, probably for the first time in my life, the person I have always wanted to be. Oh, not my body! I sometime despair over my body ... The wrinkles, the baggy eyes, and the cellulite. And often I am taken aback by that old person that lives in my mirror, but I don't agonize over those things for long.

I would never trade my amazing friends, my wonderful life, my loving family for less gray hair or a flatter belly As I've aged, I've become more kind to myself, and less critical of myself I've become my own friend. I don't chide myself for eating that extra cookie, or for not making my bed, or for buying that silly cement gecko that I didn't need, but looks so avante garde on my patio. I am entitled to be messy, to be extravagant, to smell the flowers. I have seen too many dear friends leave this world too soon; before they understood the great freedom that comes with aging.

Whose business is it if I choose to read or play on the computer until 4 a.m. And then sleep until -- ?

I will dance with myself to those wonderful tunes of the 50's & 60's, and if I, at the same time, wish to weep over a lost love, I will.

I will walk the beach in a swim suit that is stretched over a bulging body, and will dive into the waves with abandon if I choose to, despite the pitying glances from the bikini set. (Now that is one thing I wouldn't do.)

They, too, will get old. (if they're lucky) I know I am sometimes forgetful. But then again, some of life is just as well forgotten and I eventually remember the important things.

Sure, over the years my heart has been broken. How can your heart not break when you lose a loved one, or when a child suffers, or even when a beloved pet gets hit by a car? But broken hearts are what give us strength and understanding and compassion. A heart never broken is pristine and sterile and will never know the joy of being imperfect

I am so blessed to have lived long enough to have my hair turn gray, and to have my youthful laughs be forever etched into deep grooves on my face. So many have never laughed, and so many have died before their hair could turn silver. I can say "no," and mean it. I can say "yes" and mean it.


A you get older, it is easier to be positive. You care less about what other people think. I don't question myself anymore. I've even earned the right to be wrong.

So, to answer your question, I like being older. It has set me free. I like the person I have become. I am not going to live forever, but while I am still here, I will not waste time lamenting what could have been, or worrying about what will be. And I shall eat dessert every single day...

(if I want).

Today, I wish you a day of ordinary miracles. Love simply. Love generously. Care deeply. Speak kindly. Leave the rest to God.


Well, I don't really eat dessert every day. Maybe, once a week, because I do know the consequences of that.

I read a blog by a lady who has in her signature line, "I'm going to live forever. So far, so good."

10 comments:

Anonymous said...

First, I love Miz Ella's hat...too cute!
Second, I really needed to read this post this evening...thanks so much for sharing this!
:)

Anonymous said...

Hi Beverly,
I wonder how the one that wrote this story knew how to describe me perfectly ?
She probably don't know how many folks she described , but did a good job of doing it ?
I always use ain't a lot cause it don't seem right to type " am not " and ain't is more direct ?

Blessings.
Ron.

L. said...

I love your post today....so true, so true.

Adorable picture of your sweet Ella and her aunt. I so enjoy "sharing" grandchildren with you. I'm off in 14 days for that first birthday...and I know that you totally understand my excitement!

Take care! : )

Susie said...

We must run in the same email circles! I got this one too, and thought it was so worth reading !
I'd never wear a bikini again either, nor do I eat dessert every night :)
Precious picture of Ella and her auntie :)
xo

Anonymous said...

Pretty good outlook, that. And Beverly, feel free to say "ain't" any ol' time you want! Sometimes I use "cain't" rather than to type out "cannot," just for the heck of it; it ain't even my dialect!

Love the hat, and love the part about liking myself better, now. I do like myself (body excepted!) better than at any previous time--and a whole lot better than when I was young and thin...although there's no causal relationship, there.

But, no, I can't bring myself even to put on a swimsuit, let alone a bikini, and I don't eat dessert--hardly ever, anyway. And I'm still rounder than I want to be.

photowannabe said...

Precious sweety in that hat.
I really do love the philosophy of that lady. Its pretty much me. I am finally happy with the ageing process. Not the aches and pains but the freedom of thought that I now have.

kenju said...

Another darling photo! I love hats too and I love a little girl in hats! Mine would never wear them.

I have seen that email before and I agree with it. Growing old and lumpy is certainly better than the alternative!

ANGEL ABBYGRACE said...

Ella looks terrific in hats..you never know she may end up growing up and designing hats!

Great philosophy! Only with the passage of time can one see the truth in the words this person wrote. All of those 20-somethings who think that they will never cross the 40 mark just don't know what they are in for. I would never want to go back to all of that turmoil of youth.

I can't eat desserts -- but maybe one day I will be able to put a one piece on and dance on the beach! (after the diet)

I am so glad you enjoy Abby. She is such a joy in my life and...it's her blog. Even if I interpret it for her. :-)

Karen Townsend said...

Precious Ella in her hat. Too cute.
I like your ending quote. So far so good.

Anonymous said...

Thank you for this post. It is something that I needed to hear. I am at that point where I look in the mirror and say, "Who is that person?" Acceptance isn't quite there for me as yet. :-)

The last paragraph are words to live by and I think I must copy and paste.

Ella looks too adorable in that hat!!!