April 30

April 30 is a date that will forever be embedded in my memory. Four years ago, on this date, my life as I knew it changed. My husband left for work that morning, and about 3:45 in the afternoon, my best friend and pastor's wife, came with the news that Don had been killed in an accident. I felt like I had been hit with a ton of bricks. I shared about Don in my post on Valentine's Day. I won't repeat all the details here.

One's life is changed forever after an incident like that. A new normal must be found. Choices must be made. One choice that I made is that I will be happy and not wallow in misery...not that I don't miss my husband terribly. I hurt for my two young adult children who no longer have their father.

God is my sustainer; He brings peace and joy when the plans that I have are suddenly turned upside down.

This week when I was traveling I picked up a book by Ann Lamott in the airport bookstore. I had heard her name mentioned before but had never picked up one of her books to read. She wrote this in one of her chapters.

I have survived so much loss, as all of us have by our forties--my parents, dear friends, my pets. Rubble is the ground on which our deepest friendships are built. If you haven't already, you will lose someone you can't live without, and your heart will be badly broken, and you never completely get over the loss of a deeply beloved person. But this is also good news. The person lives forever, in your broken heart that doesn't seal back up. And you come through, and you learn to dance with the banged-up heart. You dance to the absurdities of life; you dance to the minuet of old friendships.

Plan B: Further Thoughts on Faith by Anne Lamott

Don's practice every morning was to shave and then have his devotions. Part of that was spent reading Our Daily Bread The Scripture passage for that day was Romans 8:28, a verse that is often quoted glibly during hard times. The Message says it like this,

"That's why we can be so sure that every detail in our lives for God is worked into something good."

Thank you, Father.

Off to Kansas City

I'm leaving early in the morning to fly to Kansas City for a three day conference connected with Stonecroft. Stonecroft is the parent name of Christian Women's Clubs.

I'll get to hear Carol Kent. Does anyone know her? She has quite a story. I'll share more when I return.

On the weekend, our Sweet Adelines chorus will be in competition with other choruses in our region. We feel like we're singing so much better than last year...Here's hoping we can get the "most improved chorus" award.

Till later...

Does Jesus Care?

I was reminded of this song at church today. One of the men in our congregation is battling cancer. He had cancer in his tongue a couple of years ago. After treatments, he was free for awhile, and now it has recurred. He has a tumor in his neck that has wound its way around a vein, so the doctors were not able to do surgery on it. They have an appointment on Tuesday with the oncologist to discuss his options.

While I was talking to his wife, I said that I have not dealt with cancer. My mother did die from it, but by the time she was diagnosed, she was gone in three weeks. All the things we had observed in her seemed to be signs of old age. In talking with Erma, I mentioned that even though I had never dealt with cancer, I had had my own tragedy in my life, losing my husband in an accident.

I reminded myself that while our tragedies are great, nothing compares to the pain that He bore on the cross for us...

Does Jesus care when my heart is pained
Too deeply for mirth or song,
As the burdens press, and the cares distress
And the way grows weary and long?

Refrain

Oh yes, He cares, I know He cares,
His heart is touched with my grief;
When the days are weary, the long nights dreary,
I know my Savior cares.

Does Jesus care when my way is dark
With a nameless dread and fear?
As the daylight fades into deep night shades,
Does He care enough to be near?

Refrain

Does Jesus care when I’ve tried and failed
To resist some temptation strong;
When for my deep grief there is no relief,
Though my tears flow all the night long?

Refrain

Does Jesus care when I’ve said “goodbye”
To the dearest on earth to me,
And my sad heart aches till it nearly breaks,
Is it aught to Him? Does He see?

Refrain

What comfort to know that nothing happens to us without the Father.

What's the weather like where you live?

Each of us makes his own weather,
determines the color of the skies in the emotional universe which he inhabits. -- Bishop Fulton J. Sheen

This quote was in an e-mail that I received this morning. I thought it quite an appropriate thought. I have read blogs from people who live in the far north who are just now beginning to see signs of spring and sunshine. They are rejoicing.

In Florida, winter days are often just "another day in paradise." We wear sweaters, maybe, and we almost always have the sun shining. I remember my children going north for college and commenting about rarely seeing the sun during winter. My best friend and her husband moved to the Chicago area in October, and she told me that she went out and bought brighter lightbulbs for the lamps in her house to make things brighter.

We are affected by our surroundings, aren't we. Temperatures are beginning to climb here, and hurricane season will start soon. This brings a certain unease.

But this certainly isn't the weather that Bishop Sheen speaks of. Our circumstances might seem dismal at times, but we can make the choice to have sunshine in our days, contentment in our hearts.

When I lived in Haiti, a favorite song of the Christians was "My Father Planned it All." It says that even when the way seems dreary, and there are dark shadows, we can know that wherever He leads us, our Father planned it all. I love it in the Creole language. It says Papa-m ranje-l konsa. God is lovingly referred to as Papa in Creole. I love the intimacy that that words expresses.

Where Did I Park?

 

When I was in Nashville, as I stated before, I stayed at the Opryland Hotel, which is next to the Grand old Opry, which is next to the Opry Mills Outlet Mall. At the end of the mall in the parking lot, I noticed this sign.

I used to watch elderly people come out of the grocery store, or out of Wal-Mart, and stand looking, looking for their cars. I used to think, "Poor dears."

Now it's not so funny. I have become one of them...not always remembering exactly where I left my car...especially if I didn't take careful notice of what aisle I had parked my car in. 

Christ Is Risen! Hallelujah!

What a glorious day to sing of His resurrection and hear the message that is unique to Christianity. No other religion in the world can claim a living Savior! When I was at university, every Sunday morning our church service took place on campus. Below is one of the first hymns I remember learning there, and it is probably the one that has stayed in my mind the most over these years.

Arise, my soul, arise; shake off thy guilty fears;
The bleeding sacrifice in my behalf appears:
Before the throne my surety stands,
Before the throne my surety stands,
My name is written on His hands.

He ever lives above, for me to intercede;
His all redeeming love, His precious blood, to plead:
His blood atoned for all our race,
His blood atoned for all our race,
And sprinkles now the throne of grace.

Five bleeding wounds He bears; received on Calvary;
They pour effectual prayers; they strongly plead for me:
“Forgive him, O forgive,” they cry,
“Forgive him, O forgive,” they cry,
“Nor let that ransomed sinner die!”

The Father hears Him pray, His dear anointed One;
He cannot turn away, the presence of His Son;
His Spirit answers to the blood,
His Spirit answers to the blood,
And tells me I am born of God.

My God is reconciled; His pardoning voice I hear;
He owns me for His child; I can no longer fear:
With confidence I now draw nigh,
With confidence I now draw nigh,
And “Father, Abba, Father,” cry.

These words were written by Charles Wesley.

Thank you, Lord, that my name is written on Your hand. I am born of God, and I can draw near to You with confidence...all because of the death, burial, and resurrection of my Lord.

Happy Birthday, David

 

On Easter Sunday, 1979, David came into our lives. What an Easter gift! Easter was April 15th that year. My friend, Sara, who worked as an accountant, was working that day. I called her from the hospital to let her know that David had been born. Her comment was, "Well, he may be the Easter bunny this year, but from now on he'll be known as form 1040. Isn't that some reminder of one's birthday...the day that income taxes are due.

1979 was known as "the year of the child" because the children born that year would turn 21 in the year 2000, and her it is 2006. Twenty-seven years have passed, and now my son is a young man, who is married and will soon become a father himself.

Happy birthday, David. I love you. 

Hallelujah! What a Savior!

He was despised and rejected by men, a man of sorrows.” Isaiah 53:3

Man of Sorrows! what a name
For the Son of God, Who came
Ruined sinners to reclaim.
Hallelujah! What a Savior!

Bearing shame and scoffing rude,
In my place condemned He stood;
Sealed my pardon with His blood.
Hallelujah! What a Savior!

Guilty, vile, and helpless we;
Spotless Lamb of God was He;
“Full atonement!” can it be?
Hallelujah! What a Savior!

Lifted up was He to die;
“It is finished!” was His cry;
Now in Heav’n exalted high.
Hallelujah! What a Savior!

When He comes, our glorious King,
All His ransomed home to bring,
Then anew His song we’ll sing:
Hallelujah! What a Savior!

Words and Music by Philip P. Bliss

Words cannot express the feeling in my heart on this day.

Inside Opryland

As I mentioned before, I went to Nashville for Mark Lowry's Senior Trip. While in Nashville, we stayed at the Opryland Hotel. We were told that this facility is the largest hotel and convention center under one roof in the world. That is, a facility without a casino. Some of the hotels in Las Vegas are larger.
Everything is first class. There are nearly 2900 guest rooms there. We stayed in the Magnolia section, which is the oldest section of the hotel, having been built in 1977. The Delta section was added, then the Cascades. All of these photos were taken in the Cascades section. All of the guest rooms in the Cascades look out onto these gardens.

As one moves from the Cascades to the Delta section there are more gardens. Much of it is similar to what one might see in Florida in places like Jungle Gardens in Sarasota. In the Delta section there are shops and a river that contains water from rivers from around the world. A boat ride is available for those who care to ride around.

A return trip is a definite for me. Southern hospitality abounds. People take time to talk to you. The only down part of our time was the fact that tornadoes struck around us in some of the communities; homes were destroyed, and lives were lost.

It was a good time for getting away and relaxing for a few days, enjoying spring and fellowship with other folks.

Captain Speece

This is an update on Ben, the young man who has Stage 3 testicular cancer. His mother has taken a leave of absence from her school here in Florida to go help care for him. Ben's wife, Liza, is student teaching, and Marilyn is there to try to ease some of the stress on her.

His mom wrote, Ben got an MRI today [4/11] about 3:30 using galleon because he had an allergic reaction to the other dye. We don't know the results yet, but he did not have a reaction to it. The next chemo they have put off until tomorrow and the port the doctor has postponed until Wed.

Part of what I was reading in my devotions this morning was II Chron. 20:4, 12, 15, 17, & 20. What an encouragement to share with Ben and Liza and for myself! "We have no power to face this vast army that is attacking us. We do not know what to do, but our eyes are upon you...For the battle is not yours, but God's Take up your positions; stand firm and see the deliverance the Lord will give you...Do not be afraid; do not be discouraged."

The doctor gave us answers to yesterday's concerns. Mostly time would take care of the sore arm and swollen leg. The nurse quoted scripture when she saw the slogans on the wall. Two friends visited and prayed with him and 7 others came. He has cards taped on the wall where he can see them.

[A friend] put up a new poster, "They call me Captain Speece because my progress is astonomical." It came from an e-mail that Liza had sent to friends referring to when Ben moved his right arm for the first time on Sat. Liza said, "That is great, Ben!" Ben replied, "That's astronomical!"

The OT therapist was in today. She worked with him on the bed for 2 days because he needed 2 units of blood yesterday. Today, however, Ben stood and his blood pressure didn't drop. He was exhausted when it was done. Then the speech therapist arrived. Ben has to think hard to produce words. There is a lot of retraining of his brain to be done. She showed him pictures to identify, had him produce words in a category, name days, months, generate words in a sentence, etc. The therapist said Ben showed improvement from last week.

Continue to remember Ben and his family.

Senior trip

 
Last week was a fun time. I had shared with some that I was going to board a bus in Bradenton and go to Nashville for Mark Lowry's Senior Trip...not the type of senior trip that one thinks of. Everyone on this trip had to be at least 50 or married to someone over 50.

A good time was had by all. We stayed in the Opryland Hotel...such a hardship...just kidding. That was an experience in itself. The complex is the largest hotel and conference center under roof in the world that doesn't have a casino. Hotels in Vegas are larger, but they come with casinos.

One can easily get lost wandering up and down halls. After our first meeting that evening, I told my roommate that I was going to walk around and get my bearings. After I did that, it was much easier.

If you're a fan of the Gaither Homecoming gatherings, you are familiar with Mark Lowry. He was for a time a member of the Gaither Vocal Band. After a while, he went out on his own. He is quite a comedian, singer, and song writer. He is the author of "Mary, Did You Know?" a Christmas song that is no doubt on its way to becoming a classic.

Chonda Pierce was there on Thursday evening to help host the show. What a character! She is a comedienne, as well. If you've never had the chance to hear her and you hear of her being in the area, by all means, go. She's so funny, but then she brings her comedy act to thoughts of the Lord...outstanding. She helps us Christians laugh at ourselves.

Many other notables were there also. I'll share about them in another post.

The picture in this post was taken in the Delta section of the hotel. More later... 

Home again, home again, jiggity jig

I just got back from a trip to Nashville with a group of senior citizens. What fun! A group called the Breakfast Club took a trip to Nashville. We stayed at the Opryland Hotel and enjoyed a 2-day program with Mark Lowry. If you're familiar with the Gaithers, then you know Mark. Laughs were to be found everywhere, and sometimes a tear of two. I'll check back in later with some more information.

I stayed up quite a while last night getting caught up with everyone's blog that I frequent...I suffered a bit of withdrawal while gone.

A Song for Sunday

When I thought about an entry for today, my mind was still on Ben and his family. I worshiped this morning where his dad is pastor. It is also the church that I grew up in and was a member of until 1992 when our family went to a new church. I have many close ties there still.

Ben's dad wasn't back from North Carolina today; he'll be back tomorrow. His mom was, however. Her dad died yesterday after a short illness. His memorial service is tomorrow. And then Ben's mom will be taking a leave from her classroom for the rest of the year to go back up and help be a support to her daughter-in-law, who is student teaching.

One of the songs we sang this morning was "Great is Thy Faithfulness." Such a wonderful hymn. We sang that at my husband's memorial service four years ago. I was going to put the words here, but when I went to cyberhymal.org, there was a copyright sign after the title with the warning not to cut and paste it without permission...so I didn't. But it is such a wonderful hymn...speaking of God's faithfulness through good time and bad. It is probably my favorite hymn.

We also sang "I Can Only Imagine," another great contemporary song that has been sung a lot lately. And then we shared the Lord's supper. That was just where I was supposed to be today.

On Tuesday I'm going with a group of senior citizens to Nashville. I hate to admit that I'm that age. But the thought of getting on a bus and let someone else do all the planning and worrying sort of pleases me, so I'm going to give it a try.