I saw the face of loneliness this past weekend. I have a friend who lives in central Florida whom I have known since I was 9. She was the camp director of the camp that I went to every summer after fourth grade. I went as a camper and then worked there during the summers in high school and college.
She had come to Florida in 1948 after graduating from Bible college and working for the government during the war. She along with another lady were the backbone of the camp.
She's now 86. Her co-worker died about five years ago, and my friend has lived alone since. We reconnected four years ago, and I began going over to visit her. Being from Pennsylvania, she's a great PSU fan, and so I would go over and watch football games either at her house, or seeking them out at a sports bar if they were not on network TV here in Florida.
I didn't get over this past season because I was in Virginia with Ella, but I received an e-mail from her stating that she was going to have a hip replacement in February. After she got home from rehab, she asked me if I'd come spend a few days with her. I checked my schedule and told her that I could come for a couple of days this past week.
I had told her that I would get to her house before noon, so she began looking for me around 10 in the morning. I didn't leave my house until 10:30, and I got there about five til 12. That was before noon, wasn't it.
In the afternoon we took a ride out to the camp, where she still sits on the board of directors. She showed me all the changes that have taken place. She is so proud of this place in Florida where she gave so many years of her life.
She has people who look in on her. Her neighbors are great, but she says, "I'm just so lonely." As I think about her, I think about the many elderly who are in a similar situation. While there, I began reading the book, Water For Elephants, which is the story of a man who worked with the circus. As he tells his story, he is now in an assisted-living facility. He says, "I'm 90 or 93. I don't remember which." And then he begins to talk about aging and looking at his hands and then his face in the mirror. "Who is this person?" he wants to know.
The weekend was a good lesson for me. Do I overlook old people? Do I think they are not worth my time? I pray to God that I will never lose a sensitivity to them or fail to be a friend.
13 comments:
How beautifully sensitive you are, Beverly.
Happy Mother's Day!
xoxo
Grammie
Hi Bev,
Your tender caring heart shows through in this post. During the many years Grandpa was in a care home we saw so many of the other residents who never had visitors.
I could never understand how families could just abandon their loved ones!
Hope you had a great Mother's Day..
xo
You do have a tender heart Beverly! Thanks for sharing this story! Sophie has some adopted Granparents (family friends) who have esentially adopted her. They are well into their mid to late 80's. They are such a blessing to all of us and she is to them too! Those relationships are the absolute best kind to have. We cherish every moment we have with them! We will al have very empty hearts when they are gone someday!
Happy Mother's Day to you too!
Yes, that was a good lesson. I don't think you will ever overlook anyone in need - you have such a good heart.
Thanks for sharing that story. I intend to pay more attention to the elderly in my neighbourhood, just in case they are lonely. I can't even imagine family ignoring their precious elders.
Hope your day was special.
She is so lucky to have you, Beverly. I have had similar friends, and I have 2 now who are in their 80's. They teach me so much I can't imagine my life without them. I dread the time when they will no longer be here.
Hope you had a good Mother's Day!
I also pray that I don't lose my sensitivity and that I will remain a friend.
Your friend is blessed to have you. I'm sure you dispel her lonliness.
I'm glad you were there to visit her. How sad that she is so lonely. I hope you can visit her more often.
Congrats on 8th place and ALL THE FUN you had with your chorus!!!!!! It sounds like a great time!
Beverly--true observations--about older people sometimes being lonely.
Water for Elephants--I loved this book. One of the things I really liked was the authenticity of the voice of the old man. The story is told, of course, by the young man--but the old man still remembers being young. I hope you enjoy the work too.
I just read that book and also thought of growing older and how my body and mind would change. How wonderful of you to look after your friend and to be so sensitive to her needs. Last summer my good friend Herman died at 96. He still had amazing stories to tell and entertained me every visit with his HUGE personality and zest for life. But near the end, even he decided that joining his wife and son in the afterlife was worth giving up this life. It was a clear decision and we knew his body would follow his mind's lead.
I too have read "Water For Elephants" and like you, I was quite touched by how the story was told through the eyes of a 90 year old gentleman.
My mom is 86 and I often worry about the loneliness that I know she often lives with. She still has her family but my dad and most of her friends have all passed on. I know many of her days are long and spent in solitude. Who ever said, "getting old is not for sissies", knew what they were talking about.
I sometimes feel very lonely. I am only 60 years old and thankfully do get out, have friends, and all. I do feel for those who are homebound and all their family is gone. Hope we are never that way.
A very mindful post. Thanks for the nudge that we could all do well to pay an elderly person a visit.
Your camp friend is very cool in that she's still involved with camp. I went to camp since I was 7, Pioneer Girls Camp, a Bible Study camp. When I became diabetic at 14, I had to go to diabetic camp and then was a counselor till I was in Teacher's College! I just took the old camp director's wife out to lunch for her birthday!
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