One's life is changed forever after an incident like that. A new normal must be found. Choices must be made. One choice that I made is that I will be happy and not wallow in misery...not that I don't miss my husband terribly. I hurt for my two young adult children who no longer have their father.
God is my sustainer; He brings peace and joy when the plans that I have are suddenly turned upside down.
This week when I was traveling I picked up a book by Ann Lamott in the airport bookstore. I had heard her name mentioned before but had never picked up one of her books to read. She wrote this in one of her chapters.
I have survived so much loss, as all of us have by our forties--my parents, dear friends, my pets. Rubble is the ground on which our deepest friendships are built. If you haven't already, you will lose someone you can't live without, and your heart will be badly broken, and you never completely get over the loss of a deeply beloved person. But this is also good news. The person lives forever, in your broken heart that doesn't seal back up. And you come through, and you learn to dance with the banged-up heart. You dance to the absurdities of life; you dance to the minuet of old friendships.
Plan B: Further Thoughts on Faith by Anne Lamott
Don's practice every morning was to shave and then have his devotions. Part of that was spent reading Our Daily Bread The Scripture passage for that day was Romans 8:28, a verse that is often quoted glibly during hard times. The Message says it like this,
"That's why we can be so sure that every detail in our lives for God is worked into something good."
Thank you, Father.
11 comments:
Thank you for your thoughts, Mom. You definitely have to learn to live life differently after what we've been through. I will always carry the wonderful memories of dad in my heart. When the choir sang "It Is Well" this morning in church, I could hear him singing it.
The loss will never go away but God keeps us close during the hard times, under his wing. I cannot think of a better place to stay. Remember the wonderful times and love and let God take care of the rest.
Thank you for sharing this with us!
you will be in my thought and prayers :)
God Bless,
((((huggs))))
Sorry for your loss, but you've turned in the right direction. God will help you, even if it seems he's not.
Thanks for visiting.
I don't think I have ever read such a strong post. I am sorry that this happened to you but your thoughts and aims are inspirational.
Wendy directed me here today
Beverly...I am here from Wendy's. I just wanted to let you know you are in my prayers. I shudder everytime I think of losing someone so close to me. I am very thankful that all of my very close loved ones would be with the Lord if the worst (for me) would happen! I am very thankful for that!
Your faith and strength and love shine through this sad memorial day. In the midst of your own deep sadness, you are able to give hope and comfort to others. Certainly evidence of God. Thank you for that. Carole
Bless you, Beverly! Your tender words and faith have been a great encouragement to me today. May the loving arms of God enfold you!
Beverly - Thanks for commenting on my blog. I am not a religious person - in fact, I am sort of a self-proclaimed atheist, although I was raised in an extremely catholic family. Reading your entry about Don's loss was a very moving experience. Besides my father (with whom I had many issues), I have never really lost anyone close to me. You mention yours, and especially his faith, and I found that very touching as well. I do not know if my path will ever take me back to the one you call God - I do know that I have my own spirituality and system of ethics, but I can see what you have and that I do not have, or no longer have.
Beverly
Thank you for sharing. I think that being able to express oneself like this is very helpful.
I loved the quote.
Somehow, I never managed to read this post, all those years ago. I am so sorry for your loss, Beverly. I don't know how a loving wife recovers from that news.
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