Wednesday, August 29, 2007

Adequately described

I received these in an e-mail this morning. I believe I've read most of them before, but seeing them again made me smile. Perhaps they'll bring a smile to your face, as well.

Sign over a Gynecologist's Office:
"Dr. Jones, at your cervix."
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In a Podiatrist's office:
"Time wounds all heels."
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On a Septic Tank Truck in Oregon:
Yesterday's Meals on Wheels
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On another Septic Tank Truck:
"We're #1 in the #2 business"
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At a Proctologist's door:
"To expedite your visit please back in."
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On a Plumber's truck:
"We repair what your husband fixed."
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On another Plumber's truck:
"Don't sleep with a drip. Call your plumber.."
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On a Church's Billboard:
"7 days without God makes one weak."
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At a Tire Shop in Milwaukee :
"Invite us to your next blowout."
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On a Plastic Surgeon's Office door:
"Hello. Can we pick your nose?"
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At a Towing company:
"We don't charge an arm and a leg. We want tows."
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On an Electrician's truck:
"Let us remove your shorts."
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In a Non-Smoking Area:
"If we see smoke, we will assume you are on fire and take appropriate action."
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On a Maternity Room door:
"Push. Push. Push."
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At an Optometrist's Office :
"If you don't see what you're looking for, you've come to the right place."
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On a Taxidermist's window:
"We really know our stuff."
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On a Fence:
"Salesmen welcome! Dog food is expensive!"
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At a Car Dealership:
"The best way to get back on your feet - miss a car payment."
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Outside a Muffler Shop:
"No appointment necessary We hear you coming."
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In a Veterinarian's waiting room:
"Be back in 5 minutes. Sit! Stay!"
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At the Electric Company:
"We would be delighted if you sent in your payment.
However, if you don't, you will be."
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In a Restaurant window:
"Don't stand there and be hungry. Come on in and get fed up."
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In the front yard of a Funeral Home:
"Drive carefully. We'll wait."
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At a Propane Filling Station
"Thank heaven for little grills."
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And don't forget the sign at a Chicago Radiator Shop:
"Best place in town to take a leak"
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4 comments:

photowannabe said...

I've heard some of those before but they do tickle my funny bone. Thanks for the smile today.

Bellezza said...

THANK YOU for making an exhausted, sweat drenched teacher actually laugh! These are great, and offered a much needed respite after a long day.

Anonymous said...

too funny!! I am definitely smiling here.

Anvilcloud said...

Pretty funny. This is a real one that I saw at a store in this town. It was by the debit machine: Please strip this way. Sadly, it has been removed.