Bummer

I just came from the retina specialist's office. In 1999, I had quite a large hemorrhage in my right eye, which impaired my vision. Wet macular degeneration they call it. I was really bummed when that happened. My daughter was just graduating from college; in fact, the weekend that we went for her graduation, I had another bleed. The first time that it happened it was so large that he couldn't really tell exactly where it was originating and to laser it would take my vision. It finally began to dry up, and then came the second one on the graduation weekend. That time he was able to laser it.

I've been seeing him every six months since then, relying on my left eye for good vision. Last year, he began to see some changes and had me start coming every four months. I went today, and after taking some fancy pictures found three bleeds in my left eye (the good eye). So I got zapped in those three places. Fortunately, so far, it hasn't impaired my vision. Thank the Lord.

way back in '99, he also told me I have dry macular degeneration. I told him I wasn't' old enough for that. He looked at my birthday and said, yes, that's so...but you have it. And they call it "age related."

When I took the trip to Nashville on the bus with all Those senior citizens, there was the cutest little lady on the trip. She used a walker when she was off the bus, but on the bus, she held on to the seats and shuffled like a penguin. We were sitting at a table in a restaurant, talking about driving and this and that. Someone asked her if she drove. She said, "Oh no, I have macular degeneration. At least I'll never go totally blind." She said all this with a smile on her face. I hope I can keep a smile like that when the day comes.

I bought a new car in November 2005. Although my other car was going on 10 years old, I really didn't need a new one, but I rationalized that the day would come when I would not be able to drive, so I wanted to enjoy a new one while I could still see!
And I am enjoying it, and I hope that I can for a long time.

Talllinn Estonia

Cats are everywhere, aren't they?
In July of 2003 I had the opportunity to visit Tallinn Estonia with a group from my church here in Bradenton. Our church has established a friendship relationship with a church there, anda group of us went to see if we could be an encouragement to them and to see what we could learn from them.
Tallinn has a walled city which dates back to the 1100's, and that became our field trip many of the afternoons when we were free to roam. Walking down the cobbled streets one day, what did I see but this lovely cat, sleeping the afternoon away.


the church steeple that you see is that of St. Olaf's Church. This church was once used as a lookout by the Russians. Also at one time, all of the various denominations were made to worship there together. One thinks that the communists were trying to destroy the church, but it only made it stronger. Today it is a Baptist church.

Tallinn is an interesting city. It used to be economical to go there, but it is becoming quite popular as a tourist attraction. Cruise ships dock there, and people go ashore for the day...so up have gone the prices...not quite the bargain that it once was. It is interesting to be in a country that has known freedom since 1991. 

Seeds of Hope

I'm concluding this e-mail from Ben's wife today. If you've been reading my blog for a while know about Ben, the young man with testicular cancer. He is the son of a pastor in my hometown, and he is the same age as my daughter, Sarah. Many of you have commented whenever I have posted about him.

The week after Ben's first hospitalization, before we knew about the cancer, we were all at home, trying to keep him from being too active, so as not to aggravate the hemorrhage. So Ben got the idea to have his dad plant a little vegetable garden that he could watch grow during his recovery time at home. Little did we know what awaited us!!!

However, despite our extended time at the hospital, and our preoccupation with other things (like his daily therapy visits, chemo treatments, etc.) those little plants took root, and are starting to bear fruit. In the same way, during this time of great adversity, I have seen God bring about fruit in our own lives. We have learned to value each moment we spend together. We have learned the importance of hope, hard work, and courage. And we have all learned how to serve each other and work together. What a blessing! I would not have chosen to learn these things this way, but one of the joys of knowing God is that He brings good out of all circumstances, and so we praise him.

Thanks for keeping up with us. Your many cards, letters, emails, prayers, visits, meals, financial gifts, acts of service such as lawn mowing, car washing, and painting, etc. have been greatly appreciated. Ben made it upstairs today for the first time to check his own email, and as he responded to someone's email he said, "I'm gonna get better!" And I believe that he is. So thanks for the part each of you has played in his recovery so far. And please continue to pray with us for complete healing!

It Came

Yes, the card that I knew was coming arrived in the mail yesterday...my very own Medicare card...effective September 1.

B-r-r-r! It was cold

I spent the last week in the upper peninsula of Michigan at Cedar Camp, not far from the little town of Cedarville. I flew to Detroit, and then one of the camp workers picked me up and took me to the camp...quite a long drive from one end of the state to the other. It was dark when we got there, and then for the next two days it was gloomy and rainy. I had been warned by friends here in town and on the blog to take warm clothes, and I'm glad that I did.

On Tuesday, I think it was, the sun shone, and I finally saw the beauty that everyone had spoken of. I've never seen so many Christmas trees anywhere actually growing before. There were daffodils still in bloom, so I paused to look at them each time I passed, enjoying them over and over.

The camp that I went to is owned by Inter-Varsity Christian Fellowship. The week that I was there, there were students from University of Illinois, Champaign-Urbana campus, and University of Wisconsin-Whitewater. The students there made up the leadership teams of the chapters. Their directors were there with them as they studied and made plans for the coming school year.

During the morning and afternoon, the students studied various subjects, ranging from an overview of the Bible to racial reconciliation. In the evenings there was a speaker who Taught from I Samuel 15-17...the stories of Saul and David, and David and Goliath.

I think the thing that I enjoyed the most was the singing in the evening group. Throughout the weeks of camp, the same music is taught or sung, so that when chapters meet together, they're all on the same page as far as the music is concerned. A couple of the songs were in Spanish. The nice thing about Spanish is that even if you don't understand it, you can sing it because it's all phonetic.

My favorite song that was sung is a hymn that was written in the last few year entitled, "In Christ Alone."

In Christ alone my hope is found
He is my light, my strength, my song
This Cornerstone, this solid ground
Firm through the fiercest drought and storm
What heights of love, what depths of peace
When fears are stilled, when strivings cease
My Comforter, my All in All
Here in the love of Christ I stand

In Christ alone, who took on flesh
Fullness of God in helpless babe
This gift of love and righteousness
Scorned by the ones He came to save
'Till on that cross as Jesus died
The wrath of God was satisfied
For every sin on Him was laid
Here in the death of Christ I live

There in the ground His body lay
Light of the world by darkness slain
Then bursting forth in glorious day
Up from the grave He rose again
And as He stands in victory
Sin's curse has lost its grip on me
For I am His and He is mine
Brought with the precious blood of Christ

No guilt in life, no fear in death
This is the power of Christ in me
From life's first cry to final breath
Jesus commands my destiny
No power of hell, no scheme of man
Can ever pluck me from His hand
'Till He returns or calls me home
Here in the power of Christ I'll stand

Words by Stuart Townend

As we sang the third and fourth verses singing of His resurrection and power, there was cheering in our voices and clapping of our hands in praise to Him in Whose power we stand. It was awesome.

Going to Michigan

I'm leaving tomorrow for the upper peninsula of Michigan to volunteer for a week at an Inter-Varsity camp, so I'll be away from my computer.

I'll tell you all about it when I come back.

Ugly and Unwanted

It seems that sometimes when I post that it is about something sad, and I don't intend it to be that way.

A group of six ladies met together about 10 years ago to celebrate a 50th birthday. At that breakfast it was decided that once a month we would meet for breakfast, and for the last ten years, we have done just that. The makeup of the group has changed just a bit; we've never grown in number, (by choice) and we have never announced ourselves to those outside our little circle.

The great thing about the group is that we have never gossiped about anyone (that's unusual for six ladies, isn't it). Rather our group has been a support group to each other; sometimes we meet and don't say much. Sometimes we meet and laugh a lot; at one point, we didn't dare frequent the same restaurant twice in a row for fear that they wouldn't let us in. Sometimes we meet and weep with each other.

This past week was one of weeping for me. One of the friends in our group announced that she has been diagnosed with breast cancer. Boo-hiss! The sage of the group, whom we sometimes fondly call our "mother superior" said to her, "You know what you're dealing with. You have a diagnosis. If it were there and nothing being done, it would be so much worse." But I cried. The year that I retired from teaching I was 57. One of my dearest friends died that same week. She had been diagnosed with colon cancer the previous October and lived almost nine months. Her sister had died of cancer, and she had done everything "right." She exercised, watched her diet, had those cysts in her breasts checked twice a year, and she died anyway. I could never quite figure that one out. She was 57. A former pastor's wife in our church had surgery colon cancer when she was nearly 90, and the surgeon told her to come see him in a year. I say that I don't question God, but I couldn't figure out why she lived, and my friend didn't. And I told her so. I knew her well enough to know that I could say that to her. She's still living...I think she was 93 this month.

The title of this post is "Ugly and Unwanted." The lady whose birthday we celebrated originally, the one that caused us to begin meeting monthly worked with a support group at our church that hopes to help people who have issues with alcohol or other dependencies. One morning at breakfast, she made the statement that it seemed that all the friends she gathered around her were either ugly, or unwanted. We looked at each other and laughed...the name became ours.

Tucker and Samson

Samson and Tucker are my two grandkittens. They own Sarah, my daughter.


Samon came to live with her about a year ago. While shopping for pet food for Tucker at Petsmart, she met Samson. The Humane Society takes cats there for people to meet, and Samson chose Sarah. He's a licker. We like to call them his kitty kisses. He is a very sweet natured cat.

Tucker came to live with Sarah the year that she lived in Mount Olive North Carolina. After Sarah graduated from Mount Olive College, she came home for a year, but she really wanted to live andwork in North Carolina, so she went back to the bustling metropolis of Mount Olive (the home of Mount Olive Pickles.) She worked at a bank while she was there. One of her co-workers fed a cat who came up to her house. guess what! The cat was pregnant. Sarah made up her mind then and there that she was going to have a kitten. She asked her landlady and promised that she would spray for fleas and everything whenever she moved, and the landlady gave her permission.


Tucker was the only black kitten in the litter. Sarah held him from the day he was born, and he is truly her
cat, or perhaps I should say she is his human.

The cats get along famously. Tucker is the older cat and was there first, but Samson has fit right in; in fact, he seems to be the dominant cat in the house. Tucker loves to sleep on Sarah. Samson will lick and kiss, but he isn't a lap cat...not yet anyway.

Whenever I need a kitty fix, I go see them. I am gong to be traveling a bit, so I don't want to get another one or two just yet...but the time is coming!!

Cats are Wonderful Friends

Gentle eyes that see so much
Paws that have the quiet touch,
Purrs to signal "all is well,"
and shomw more love than words could tell.
Graceful movements touched with pride,
a calming presence by our side
A friendship that takes time to grow
Small wonder why we love them so
Author Unknown

 

Rain

 
It seemed a bit dark this morning when I woke up. I looked at my clock, and I hadn't overslept...then I heard a noise that I hadn't heard for quite some time. The sound of rain gently falling to the earth. What a welcome sight and sound.

Yesterday there was a brush fire up near Tampa that closed I-75 for several hours. People from three subdivisions had to evacuate their homes. People took hours instead of minutes to get to their homes from work.

this is the first time that we've had brush fires this close to us in our area. A few years ago there were several fires to the south which did a lot of damage, and now there is the one that has been burning on the east coast.

A few years ago when we had such a drought, I went to Orlando with a friend to a conference, and we could smell the fires from the northern part of the state. The manager of the motel said that people were calling wondering if the state was on fire.

Everyone today has been thankful for the rain that has come today, and we may be more on Thursday. We need lots right now to quench the thirst of the parched earth.

The rain is raining all around.
It falls on field and trees.
It rains on the umbrellas here,
And on the ships at sea.

Robert Louis Stevenson

 

Vickie

 
Meet Vickie. Vickie sings in our Sweet Adelines chorus. I have never spent much time with anyone who is blind, so I'm learning a lot from her. She rode home from competition with my friend and me. We had never been to her apartment before, and we had a little bit of trouble finding it. When we finally turned into the correct street, Vickie said, "Oh, that's it. I recognize the bump."

When we got to her apartment, she told us that she and Jimmy don't use the lights. (Jimmy is blind, as well.) So she walked into a perfectly dark apartment. What is the first thing that you do when you enter your house? You turn on the lights, don't you.

Vickie is gifted with perfect pitch. On the ride home, we had all four singing parts in the car, so we sang some. She got us started out in the right key, and when we finished one song, she said that we had stayed on pitch. Now, that is an accomplishment.

At our annual dinner last week at the Olive Garden, Vickie sang for us "Ave Maria" with her sweet, clear voice. Bev, in the background, accompanied her on the violin. No one said very much when she finished...just a hush.

By the way, Ben made it to his wife's graduation on Saturday and felt well enough to go to church on Sunday. Back in the hospital today for his third round of chemo. 

More about Ben

I've been rather quiet this week...sort of beat since last week's trip to Kansas City and our chorus competition. on Wednesday at Christian Women's Club, our speaker had the time mixed up, so I had to speak. That took a bit of starch out of me too. The rest of the time I've been reading blogs and trying to clean up my office...not an easy task.

I was just reading an update on Ben, and I thought I would let you know how he's doing. He has been home over a week. The doctors felt that his spirits would be better at home. The physical therapist has been working with him, helping him with his walking, and as you can see in the photo, he is walking with the help on only one person. In one update, his mom wrote that he had taken over 100 steps in the house.

His mother also wrote that when he had the surgery for the brain tumor, that his sense of humor would remain intact, since that was so much a part of his personality. One day she was on the porch reading, when she heard laughing in the house. as the therapist left, he made the comment that Ben certainly has a sense of humor...one prayer answered.

Ben has said that his goal is to be back at work in 10 weeks. He enters the hospital again on Monday for his third round of chemo.

His wife, Liza, graduates from University of South Carolina on Saturday. Her desire is for Ben to be able to attend, so keep them in your prayers that this might indeed happen.

Wa-hoo! We did it!

Well, we didn't quite win first place, but our scores improved by about 70 points. We are now a "B" chorus, instead of a "C". We placed second in the med-size choruses and sixth overall, which in our region 9, is very good. The chorus has worked long and hard to achieve. We were feeling very good about ourselves when the competition was over.

The picture at the top of the post is from our show this year. We were "The Sweethearts of the Shimmering Shawls." Our shows are always fun and draw lots of folks. The chorus sings; we have a couple of quartets from within the group, and then we always have a guest quartet come to entertain. This year we had the Humdingers. They work at one of the main attractions in the Orlando area and go by a different name there.

Singing barbershop is lots of fun. As you probably know, or may not know, all the singing is done a cappella. There are four parts: tenor, lead, baritone, and bass. The lead sings the second line of notes in the treble clef, the tenor, the top line. Baritone is the top line in the bass clef, and bass, obviously, is the bottom line of notes. All the music is memorized and is usually choreographed.

Right now, I'm singing baritone. Our part has been described by one as the chameleon of the chorus. We fit it wherever needed to fill the chord. (That's probably not a correct description, but I'm not really a musician.) I may switch to tenor, since I've become part of a quartet, and tenor is the part that was missing.

I sang in Sweet Adelines when my children were in elementary school; then I got sick, and the kids moved on to junior high, and my time was taken up with them. After my husband died (I promise not to talk about that too much) one of the ladies asked me how I was doing, and I made the comment that my days were pretty much as they had been before, but evenings got long. She said to me, "I know just the place for you." My response was that I had been thinking about that very thing, so I made the decision to join again. That has probably been on the best things I've done since losing Don.

I'll have to say, though, that learning the music after an absence of ten years is not as easy as it was back then...but I guess it is good exercise for the brain.

If you ever have the chance to hear a barbershop group sing, by all means, go. You'll be glad you did.

April 30

April 30 is a date that will forever be embedded in my memory. Four years ago, on this date, my life as I knew it changed. My husband left for work that morning, and about 3:45 in the afternoon, my best friend and pastor's wife, came with the news that Don had been killed in an accident. I felt like I had been hit with a ton of bricks. I shared about Don in my post on Valentine's Day. I won't repeat all the details here.

One's life is changed forever after an incident like that. A new normal must be found. Choices must be made. One choice that I made is that I will be happy and not wallow in misery...not that I don't miss my husband terribly. I hurt for my two young adult children who no longer have their father.

God is my sustainer; He brings peace and joy when the plans that I have are suddenly turned upside down.

This week when I was traveling I picked up a book by Ann Lamott in the airport bookstore. I had heard her name mentioned before but had never picked up one of her books to read. She wrote this in one of her chapters.

I have survived so much loss, as all of us have by our forties--my parents, dear friends, my pets. Rubble is the ground on which our deepest friendships are built. If you haven't already, you will lose someone you can't live without, and your heart will be badly broken, and you never completely get over the loss of a deeply beloved person. But this is also good news. The person lives forever, in your broken heart that doesn't seal back up. And you come through, and you learn to dance with the banged-up heart. You dance to the absurdities of life; you dance to the minuet of old friendships.

Plan B: Further Thoughts on Faith by Anne Lamott

Don's practice every morning was to shave and then have his devotions. Part of that was spent reading Our Daily Bread The Scripture passage for that day was Romans 8:28, a verse that is often quoted glibly during hard times. The Message says it like this,

"That's why we can be so sure that every detail in our lives for God is worked into something good."

Thank you, Father.

Off to Kansas City

I'm leaving early in the morning to fly to Kansas City for a three day conference connected with Stonecroft. Stonecroft is the parent name of Christian Women's Clubs.

I'll get to hear Carol Kent. Does anyone know her? She has quite a story. I'll share more when I return.

On the weekend, our Sweet Adelines chorus will be in competition with other choruses in our region. We feel like we're singing so much better than last year...Here's hoping we can get the "most improved chorus" award.

Till later...

Does Jesus Care?

I was reminded of this song at church today. One of the men in our congregation is battling cancer. He had cancer in his tongue a couple of years ago. After treatments, he was free for awhile, and now it has recurred. He has a tumor in his neck that has wound its way around a vein, so the doctors were not able to do surgery on it. They have an appointment on Tuesday with the oncologist to discuss his options.

While I was talking to his wife, I said that I have not dealt with cancer. My mother did die from it, but by the time she was diagnosed, she was gone in three weeks. All the things we had observed in her seemed to be signs of old age. In talking with Erma, I mentioned that even though I had never dealt with cancer, I had had my own tragedy in my life, losing my husband in an accident.

I reminded myself that while our tragedies are great, nothing compares to the pain that He bore on the cross for us...

Does Jesus care when my heart is pained
Too deeply for mirth or song,
As the burdens press, and the cares distress
And the way grows weary and long?

Refrain

Oh yes, He cares, I know He cares,
His heart is touched with my grief;
When the days are weary, the long nights dreary,
I know my Savior cares.

Does Jesus care when my way is dark
With a nameless dread and fear?
As the daylight fades into deep night shades,
Does He care enough to be near?

Refrain

Does Jesus care when I’ve tried and failed
To resist some temptation strong;
When for my deep grief there is no relief,
Though my tears flow all the night long?

Refrain

Does Jesus care when I’ve said “goodbye”
To the dearest on earth to me,
And my sad heart aches till it nearly breaks,
Is it aught to Him? Does He see?

Refrain

What comfort to know that nothing happens to us without the Father.

What's the weather like where you live?

Each of us makes his own weather,
determines the color of the skies in the emotional universe which he inhabits. -- Bishop Fulton J. Sheen

This quote was in an e-mail that I received this morning. I thought it quite an appropriate thought. I have read blogs from people who live in the far north who are just now beginning to see signs of spring and sunshine. They are rejoicing.

In Florida, winter days are often just "another day in paradise." We wear sweaters, maybe, and we almost always have the sun shining. I remember my children going north for college and commenting about rarely seeing the sun during winter. My best friend and her husband moved to the Chicago area in October, and she told me that she went out and bought brighter lightbulbs for the lamps in her house to make things brighter.

We are affected by our surroundings, aren't we. Temperatures are beginning to climb here, and hurricane season will start soon. This brings a certain unease.

But this certainly isn't the weather that Bishop Sheen speaks of. Our circumstances might seem dismal at times, but we can make the choice to have sunshine in our days, contentment in our hearts.

When I lived in Haiti, a favorite song of the Christians was "My Father Planned it All." It says that even when the way seems dreary, and there are dark shadows, we can know that wherever He leads us, our Father planned it all. I love it in the Creole language. It says Papa-m ranje-l konsa. God is lovingly referred to as Papa in Creole. I love the intimacy that that words expresses.

Where Did I Park?

 

When I was in Nashville, as I stated before, I stayed at the Opryland Hotel, which is next to the Grand old Opry, which is next to the Opry Mills Outlet Mall. At the end of the mall in the parking lot, I noticed this sign.

I used to watch elderly people come out of the grocery store, or out of Wal-Mart, and stand looking, looking for their cars. I used to think, "Poor dears."

Now it's not so funny. I have become one of them...not always remembering exactly where I left my car...especially if I didn't take careful notice of what aisle I had parked my car in. 

Christ Is Risen! Hallelujah!

What a glorious day to sing of His resurrection and hear the message that is unique to Christianity. No other religion in the world can claim a living Savior! When I was at university, every Sunday morning our church service took place on campus. Below is one of the first hymns I remember learning there, and it is probably the one that has stayed in my mind the most over these years.

Arise, my soul, arise; shake off thy guilty fears;
The bleeding sacrifice in my behalf appears:
Before the throne my surety stands,
Before the throne my surety stands,
My name is written on His hands.

He ever lives above, for me to intercede;
His all redeeming love, His precious blood, to plead:
His blood atoned for all our race,
His blood atoned for all our race,
And sprinkles now the throne of grace.

Five bleeding wounds He bears; received on Calvary;
They pour effectual prayers; they strongly plead for me:
“Forgive him, O forgive,” they cry,
“Forgive him, O forgive,” they cry,
“Nor let that ransomed sinner die!”

The Father hears Him pray, His dear anointed One;
He cannot turn away, the presence of His Son;
His Spirit answers to the blood,
His Spirit answers to the blood,
And tells me I am born of God.

My God is reconciled; His pardoning voice I hear;
He owns me for His child; I can no longer fear:
With confidence I now draw nigh,
With confidence I now draw nigh,
And “Father, Abba, Father,” cry.

These words were written by Charles Wesley.

Thank you, Lord, that my name is written on Your hand. I am born of God, and I can draw near to You with confidence...all because of the death, burial, and resurrection of my Lord.

Happy Birthday, David

 

On Easter Sunday, 1979, David came into our lives. What an Easter gift! Easter was April 15th that year. My friend, Sara, who worked as an accountant, was working that day. I called her from the hospital to let her know that David had been born. Her comment was, "Well, he may be the Easter bunny this year, but from now on he'll be known as form 1040. Isn't that some reminder of one's birthday...the day that income taxes are due.

1979 was known as "the year of the child" because the children born that year would turn 21 in the year 2000, and her it is 2006. Twenty-seven years have passed, and now my son is a young man, who is married and will soon become a father himself.

Happy birthday, David. I love you. 

Hallelujah! What a Savior!

He was despised and rejected by men, a man of sorrows.” Isaiah 53:3

Man of Sorrows! what a name
For the Son of God, Who came
Ruined sinners to reclaim.
Hallelujah! What a Savior!

Bearing shame and scoffing rude,
In my place condemned He stood;
Sealed my pardon with His blood.
Hallelujah! What a Savior!

Guilty, vile, and helpless we;
Spotless Lamb of God was He;
“Full atonement!” can it be?
Hallelujah! What a Savior!

Lifted up was He to die;
“It is finished!” was His cry;
Now in Heav’n exalted high.
Hallelujah! What a Savior!

When He comes, our glorious King,
All His ransomed home to bring,
Then anew His song we’ll sing:
Hallelujah! What a Savior!

Words and Music by Philip P. Bliss

Words cannot express the feeling in my heart on this day.