I often say that there is absolutely nothing worth watching on TV. I sometimes end up turning to The Game Network and watching some of the old quiz shows that are on. I find myself laughing out loud at "The Match Game" with Gene Rayburn and the crew that always come up with some crazy response. One can watch Betty White in her younger years and realize that when we see her now on shows that she is just as sharp as she was back then.
A few days before Christmas, a friend sent me an e-mail with some of the questions and answers from old "Hollywood Squares" shows. I was cleaning out my inbox and decided to share them with you.
Hollywood Squares:
These great questions and answers are from the days when ' Hollywood Squares' game show responses were spontaneous, not scripted, as they are now. Peter Marshall was the host asking the questions, of course..
Q.. Paul, what is a good reason for pounding meat?
A. Paul Lynde: Loneliness!
(The audience laughed so long and so hard it took up almost 15 minutes of the show!)
Q. Do female frogs croak?
A. Paul Lynde: If you hold their little heads under water long enough.
Q. If you're going to make a parachute jump, at least how high should you be
A. Charley Weaver: Three days of steady drinking should do it.
Q. True or False, a pea can last as long as 5,000 years...
A. George Gobel: Boy, it sure seems that way sometimes.
Q. You've been having trouble going to sleep. Are you probably a man or a woman?
A. Don Knotts: That's what's been keeping me awake.
Q. According to Cosmopolitan, if you meet a stranger at a party and you think that he is attractive, is it okay to come out and ask him if he's married?
A.. Rose Marie: No wait until morning.
Q. Which of your five senses tends to diminish as you get older?
A. Charley Weaver: My sense of decency..
Q. In Hawaiian, does it take more than three words to say 'I Love You'?
A. Vincent Price: No, you can say it with a pineapple and a twenty..
Q. What are 'Do It,' 'I Can Help,' and 'I Can't Get Enough'?
A. George Gobel: I don't know, but it's coming from the next apartment.
Q. As you grow older, do you tend to gesture more or less with your hands while talking?
A. Rose Marie: You ask me one more growing old question Peter, and I'll give you a gesture you'll never forget.
Q. Paul, why do Hell's Angels wear leather?
A.. Paul Lynde: Because chiffon wrinkles too easily.
Q. Charley, you've just decided to grow strawberries. Are you going to get any during the first year?
A.. Charley Weaver: Of course not, I'm too busy growing strawberries.
Q. In bowling, what's a perfect score?
A. Rose Marie: Ralph, the pin boy.
Q. It is considered in bad taste to discuss two subjects at nudist camps. One is politics, what is the other?
A. Paul Lynde: Tape measures..
Q. During a tornado, are you safer in the bedroom or in the closet?
A. Rose Marie: Unfortunately Peter, I'm always safe in the bedroom.
Q. Can boys join the Camp Fire Girls?
A. Marty Allen: Only after lights out.
Q. When you pat a dog on its head he will wag his tail. What will a goose do?
A. Paul Lynde: Make him bark?
Q. If you were pregnant for two years, what would you give birth to?
A. Paul Lynde: Whatever it is, it would never be afraid of the dark..
Q. According to Ann Landers, is there anything wrong with getting into the habit of kissing a lot of people?
A. Charley Weaver: It got me out of the army.
Q. It is the most abused and neglected part of your body, what is it?
A. Paul Lynde: Mine may be abused, but it certainly isn't neglected..
Q. Back in the old days, when Great Grandpa put horseradish on his head, what was he trying to do?
A. George Gobel: Get it in his mouth.
Q. Who stays pregnant for a longer period of time, your wife or your elephant?
A. Paul Lynde: Who told you about my elephant?
Q. When a couple have a baby, who is responsible for its sex?
A. Charley Weaver: I'll lend him the car, the rest is up to him
Q. Jackie Gleason recently revealed that he firmly believes in them and has actually seen them on at least two occasions. What are they?
A. Charley Weaver: His feet.
Q. According to Ann Landers, what are two things you should never do in bed?
A. Paul Lynde: Point and laugh
Did you laugh as much as I did?
16 comments:
Beautiful photo on top, Bev. I see you have me starting on the banana gram!
that was a hoot ina 1/2 !
and a good show! :)
I used to love that show. the group were masters at the one liners.
Well, these are absolutly hilarious and I'm going to print them out! Betty White. Don't get me started on her! I love her! Here's how long I've been watching her. In the 50's, she had two different sitcoms on at two different times. "Life With Elizabeth" and "The Betty White Show". Do you remember them? I can still see them in my mind today. She was the precursor to Lucy.
bev, these are hysterical. I had forgotten how funny that show was way back when. I don't watch it now and have not for years. thanks for the laugh of the day
never watched the show, but after reading through all the jookes, i guess i should have
Betty has been around forever....and I just love her. She's still going strong and acting as much as ever. What a terrific lady she is. And...I loved Hollywood Squares too.
I love your new pic of Ella....so cute.
Happy New Year Bev....health and happiness to you always. ~Joy
A good bedtime laugh! Hi, Bev. I'm hoping you're having a wonderful holiday stretch and feeling happy and healthy!
HA HA--actually, I can actually hear
Paul Lynde's voice in my head.
Happy New Year.
Sorry, I don't think I've ever seen that show.... I didn't grow up on this side of the atlantic!
Thanks for the laugh. I laughed all the way through! And I love the picture of Ella in your header! She is a living doll!
LOL! Some good ones!!!
I love your pic of Ella - so sweet!
Happy New Year!
These are hilareous. Laughed out loud more than once.
And Betty White!! What a grand lady she is.
What a laugh.
Well, I laughed my way from one to the next; is that what you did? I never did watch the show, but I see I missed some great laughs!
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