Five years later

This week has been the fifth anniversary of Don's passing. I wrote some of my thoughts last year here. I had planned a post for the 30th, which is the day that he died. My computer crashed while I was in Virginia, so I didn't get it together, and then I was on the road coming home on the 30th. Today, Saturday, is the day that we put his body in the ground five years ago. I was thinking this morning about the term "laid to rest." He really wasn't laid to rest...he was already gone. Only the body remained.

I want to share with you the thoughts of my children about those days. From reading blogs, I know that not everyone has a wonderful father who is there all the time. Even though he was not perfect, my husband adored his children and did everything that he could for them. I think his main downfall was that he worked so much that he often did not spend the time them that they might have desired, but he was always there for them.

My son had just graduated from Penn State in December of 2001. Even though he graduated with a degree in engineering, during his years at Penn State, he became involved in a campus ministry, and his vocation took a different direction. He became a campus minister, working at IUP (Indiana University of Pennsylvania.) He was dependent upon others for his financial support, and in one of his letters to his friends, he wrote this:

On April 30th, I received the call that can never be expected, the call
that tells you a loved one has been taken from this earth. My father,
Donald Whitcomb, was killed in a car accident at the age of 54.

This made for a tough time at the beginning of the summer, especially while
traveling and leaning so much. it is still hard. Tears come randomly, and mourning is far from over. Nothing can prepare you for a tragedy like this. nothing but the grace of God can give true comfort. I thank God that my family can hold onto the hope of seeing my father again, as spoken in I Thessalonians 4:13, 14: "But we do not want
you to be uninformed, brethren, about those who are asleep, that you may not
grieve, as do the rest who have no hope. For if we believe that Jesus died
and rose again, even so God will bring with Him those who have fallen asleep
in Jesus."

I will see my father again, and that day will be glorious. My family was blessed with a funeral that was a celebration of life. Over 700 people came to the visitation and the funeral. My dad knew and loved all types of people. lawyers, doctors, plumbers, electricians, widows, Africans, Asians, Latinos, and young and old, and those people knew and loved him as well....

Please take these words and think about htem: Sons, pursue your fathers. And learn about them as much as you can, while you can. Ask questions, even if you think it is weird. I wish I had. Fathers, pursue your sons, and learn their lives no matter how hard it is. Talk to them, and ask them questions, even when they don't want you to. If you think you don't have time to work on your relationship, make time. Life is a precious thing, and I didn't realize that until my father's death.

At Don's service, our pastor asked the family if we would like to say anything. I shared a little with the people who came, and then one of the pastors read a letter that Sarah had written to her dad. I asked her if she minded if I shared it with you, and she said that she didn't.

May 3, 2002

Dear Daddy,

I can’t believe I’m writing this letter. It’s only been 3 days since the accident but it seems like a whole lot longer. I feel like I’m in a dream and when I wake up you’ll still be here. I can’t believe you are gone.

I’m remembering what you told me often when I was down and wondering if things would turn out okay. You’d tell me to keep my chin up and keep pressing on. I’m trying to do that daddy, I’m really trying.

Thank you for everything that you ever did for mom, David and me. Thank you for being so giving and loving. Even though there weren’t a lot of touchy-feely moments, you always showed your love somehow.

Well, now you’ll be watching me wherever I am and in whatever I’m doing. You’ll always be with me, in my heart and in my mind. I’m too much like you to ever forget anything. But I miss you so so much it’s indescribable.

I’m going to keep working on the house and get the things done you wanted to do to it and then some. Thank you for helping me get the house and fix it up. I wouldn’t have traded you for another dad in the world.

As David said, you worked so hard for all that time and now you are finally resting and singing in the choir up in heaven. Say hi to grandma for me.

Thank you for being a wonderful dad.
I love you with all my heart.
See you one day!
Love always,
Your daughter,
Sarah

Thank you for following with me throughout this journey. When I started to blog, I did it more for my kids than anything else, and now I find that several have come along for the ride. Having written this today has been good. I think I am going to close the door on sharing any more. I just wanted to give you a glimpse into our thoughts and lives for the last little while.